Get Out of My Head

I've been having bad dreams lately and I can't shake off the fact that even I do pray every night, I still get nightmares. Maybe, I'm just not praying sincerely enough. :( I won't be blogging about my dream cause typing it down would just make me replay the eerie scene in my head all over again which by the way I'm trying to forget about. Maybe blogging about it is not exactly the best idea to forget about it. Haha.

I'll just blog about something else. Forgive me if I get really random and nonsense. Please understand. :)

There's something I completely hate about me. I hesitate to show my feelings towards someone. And no, I'm not just talking about any guy. I'm talking generally about everyone. Perhaps, a relative or someone I'm really close to, I hesitate to tell them I love them simply because it's not a usual thing to say such. And by simply breaking that par would be completely awkward. I don't know what it is about me but I'm scared.

I'm scared of the fact that everything's happening so fast. So fast that I can't completely feel the grasp of it. There's nothing I can stop nor slow it down. Tomorrow would be my last first day in highschool. A last year of many lasts. Last year of walking through the quaint hallways of AC, last year of being a "Makati girl", last year of having to wear uniforms, last year of having all girls classmates, last year of following the rules for the heck of conduct, last year of having my dear friends just a seat or door away and most of all, last year of being a highschool student which seems vividly just yesterday that I walked to the stage for having graduated from gradeschool imagining what's highschool like with anxiety and excitement. It's too much for my mind to conceive. Yet I know for a fact that I've gone through 3 years of highschool with pride and compusure and in which I loved every moment of it.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :D
I love you, Dad.

Nostalgia

I was browsing through some quotes online and I came across something that most people (I think) can relate with. Haha.



Funny how a song can instantly bring you back to a moment. No matter how much you thought you've moved on or forgotten about it. That one song stays the same; just like that certain moment.

http://www.xanga.com/trendyquotes__x

My Sexy Fifteen

I'll start off by telling everyone how lucky I am to have friends such as those I have now. Shout out to Chanel Misa, Kamai Mercado and Liz Dumdum who specifically made my birthday celebration not like any other. And to everyone else who greeted me and made me feel loved, thank you. You all know who you are. :)

My surprise birthday celebration is the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me. It's not anything big and grand but I wouldn't want it any other way. The Saturday before my birthday, it was originally planned that I celebrate it then since the whole week would be preoccupied with Reviews. I invited a couple of my friends yet most of them were either out of reach or out of the country. Liz and Chanel informed me that they couldn't go 2 days before since they'll be else where. The only friend who could actually go was Kamai. I was about to postpone everything but I figured that I'd be free that day and there's nothing exactly I planned of doing, I thought Kamai and I could just hang out.

The moment Kamai got to my place, she asked me to come with her outside since she left something in her car. When I got out, SURPRISE! Liz and Chanel were right in front of my doorstep with a cake, mind you. ;) It was the sweetest thing ever since they've never gone to my place since their parents find it too far. I've always dreamt for my Makati friends to be at my place! Haha. And all that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Kamai who woke up really early, picked them up and brought them to my place. :)

That day was a blast.
I had fun with our endless vanity sessions, pigging out with the mouth watering pizzas and potato slices from Yellow Cab, having a Dvd marathon, being sober with our sparkling wine (Hey, I have to wait til I'm sixteen. Haha!) and having the best time of our lives. CHEERS TO CLEAN FUN. ;)



And for my actual celebration, I had a simple dinner with my family at Korean Village. It's been such a long time since we've all gathered together so it was definitely something special and worth while. There's a bit of glum feeling though, not having some of my cousins around. :( It wasn't as fun without all of you. But nevertheless, I know how much you'd all love to greet me personally. Haha. Thank you, Ate Nica for posting an album for me in Multiply. I love you all. I can't wait til next year and get to see you guys again! :*

A Day Not Like Any Other

As I promised myself, I'd blog as often as possible yet I've been preoccupied with Reviews for College Entrance Exams these past few weeks. I get home very late everyday since I have to ride home with Chanel and be picked up there late at night. Nevertheless, every day's been fun-- having the freedom to loiter around Katipunan while seeing A LOT of familiar faces. Haha. Every day seems like an adventure. ;)

Anyway, that's not what I really wanted to blog about.

Three weeks ago, I was asked by my aunt to attend a Youth Seminar at Lord's Flock. Since I was pretty much free that day and was said to be the first and last ever, I decided to go with my cousin, Dioma. I didn't know what to expect nor had any idea what was in store for us. I just thought it'd be 8 hours of boredom and weariness in a chilly room with probably a few count of familiar faces. Yet as we got there, it was completely another world.

Disparagement aside, the crowd wasn't what I expected. I felt overdressed as I walked through the room with eyes on me. I sat beside two girls who seemed really friendly and nice. At first, I felt how uneasy they were when we sat right next to them. I decided to initiate the conversation and introduced my cousin and myself to them. In no time, they started easing up and countless topics just flowed in. Ericka, who I found myself captivated with along with her bestfriend, Ria started sharing bits of her personal life. She was not like any other. Instead of having heard of their abominable stories about their not as fortunate lifestyle, she shared those of which that surpassed what I had in mind. She told me how much she loves her friends and even they lived with such life, she couldn't be any happier. She sees the beauty in every little thing. I could see in her eyes how happy she is and I realized how much I've been trying to find happiness in extravagant and expensive things. Yet, no matter how I much I try to feed myself with such gratification and wealth, I can never seem to feel satisfied. I'd always end up asking for more.

The talk was pretty much boring and redundant yet my newly found friends truly made that day a life changing experience for me. :)

We Part Ways to Meet Again

Yesterday, my cousins Nica, Denissa, Ishka and my uncle, Tito Ferdy left for States. After many months of denial of the inevitable departure, the day arrived rapidly. I woke up and realized how dramatic the day would be. In a few hours, the flight I believed not to be true will become a reality.

I got to their house jam-packed by relatives and friends who truly love and will miss them. I watched them get ready and pack their bags. Time flew so fast then; next thing I knew, there were only a few minutes left. We watched the video I made for them. The pictures which held unforgettable memories flashed on the screen while the song of Mariah Carey's song Bye Bye played on the background. I tried to hold my tears back but it was too hard. I realized how much I'll miss them since I'm too accustomed with them being around. After so, we all gathered in the living room to pray for their safe flight. My dad hopes that their decision was the right and loving thing to do and he prays furthermore for God's plan for their family. After the prayer, it was finally the time everyone's been not waiting for. This is it, I thought. I can no longer make myself believe that this is just some nightmare I can wish to wake myself from. It's reality-- in which there'd be a point in our lives when people would leave and there's nothing else we can do but just wish them good luck. There's always a rainbow after the rain, they say. I believe that their lives would be so much better there. Although, there'd be no one I'd ride to school every morning with anymore, randomly hang out with when summer days would get boring, crazily sing and dance along with nor tell the corniest jokes to, I know and believe that someday, we'd get to see each other again. Whenever and wherever it may be.

As an only child, they made me somewhat feel what it's like to have sisters. They're the ones I'm really comfortable with and whom I can approach and vent things to.

I learned that it's not how long you've known each other but how much memories and lessons you've shared with one another.

Then, there were just 7 of us left. There may be some time when I took my cousins for granted but because of this, I learned how important and how much my relatives mean to me. :)

I'm truly going to miss them.

The Tale of the Three Trees

Once there were three trees, an olive tree, an oak tree and a pine tree. They each believed that they had a special purpose in life. The olive tree believed that it would become a finely crafted treasure chest that held jewels and gold. One day a man came into the forest and chose the olive tree for a project. It didn't take long when the craftsman began working for the tree to realize he was being made into a manger for dirty, smelly animals. He felt worthless and had his dreams were shattered. The oak tree had similar grand dreams for itself. It felt for sure that it would be crafted into a fine ship that would take kings across oceans to many exotic lands. A craftsman came along and chopped the oak down and began working. Soon the oak realized it wasn't being made into a huge ocean going ship at all but a small fishing boat. Discouragement set in and so did disappointment. The pine tree lived at the top of a very high mountain feeling that it would always stand tall reminding people of God's creation. A lightning storm came along and lightning struck the tree bringing it to the ground in an instant...in just a second the pine's dreams were shattered. A woodsman came along and threw it in a scrap pile.

All trees felt utterly ruined and were completely discouraged. None of them saw even one of their dreams come to pass. God had other plans for the trees. Many years later Mary and Joseph couldn't find a place to give birth to their baby boy. They finally found a stable and when Jesus was born they placed Him in a manger made from...you guessed it...the olive tree. The olive tree had wanted to hold precious jewels but God had better plans, and it now held the greatest treasure of all, the Son of God.

A few years went by, and one day Jesus needed a boat to cross to the other side of the lake. He didn't choose a huge ocean liner. He chose a small fishing boat and you guessed it...he chose one made from the oak tree. The oak tree wanted to carry kings to far away places, but God had better plans. The oak now carried the King of kings.

A few more years went by, and one day some Roman soldiers were rummaging around in a pile of scrap wood where the discarded pine tree lay. That pine tree just knew they were coming to cut him up for firewood. But much to it's surprise, they cut only two small pieces out of it and formed them into a cross. And it was on this pine tree that Jesus was crucified. That tree is still pointing people to God's love and God's compassion to this day.

All of these trees thought that they had lost their value, that their stories were over, yet they became integral parts of the greatest story ever told.

God knows our value; He sees your potential. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and He has a great plan and purpose for our lives.

-An excerpt from Joel Osteen's book, Your Best Life Now.

I haven't really gotten to finish to whole book since it was getting redundant as I read on. Yet, so far, the tale of the Three Trees is what really pierced my heart through. I realized how sometimes we'd think ourselves down due to lack of wealth, power or fame. We lose hope to stand up and get back to our feet after a devastating storm, lost opportunities, or failing to live out our own dreams.

God is full of surprises. He gave us life to be someone you least expect to be. May it be a simple housewife, a teacher or any job which doesn't pay much for the matter, we all still live out what God really wants us to be-- to live for others and to share the love with one another.