Test of Conviction

I haven't been checking my blog for a while now and I just noticed a comment from last week on one of my blog entries (Dealing with a Broken Heart: Day 7). I can't help but post an entry about it for it's the first time, ever since I have decided to surrender my life to God, that I encountered a person who tried to condemn me by throwing my past on me.

Anonymous said:

Why write something about who hurt you and not who you have hurt in the past? You're not exactly a saint, you know. And all those blogs about love and stuff? Have you told anyone about your lies? I would bet that you can't tell anyone close to you what you did last 6 summers ago. I dare you.

My reply:

The person I was before is someone I'm not exactly proud of. I may have had my own share of hurting people myself and done things I shouldn't have. But without these same things and experiences, I wouldn't have found my Salvation and grace. I am now Saved. I am saved from my wrong ways and old life.

Not everyone is perfect and even Christians fall into temptations as well. But God is a forgiving god and He has forgiven me from all the sins I have committed before because I am TRULY sorry for them. I can't also say that I am now living a sin-free life but with His blessings and Word, I am more wise with my decisions.

I have been warned about bashes or comments like these as well for they will try to condemn me. It is written that not everyone will appreciate me for there will always be people who will try to shake my faith and bring me down. But I want to thank you because you have just convicted me to become a better Christian :)

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

God bless you! :)

-- I know more comments like these will come but I can't help but rejoice with the new heart God has truly blessed me with :)

But on a lighter note, I have no idea what you're talking about. Six summers ago? I'm just around what, 12 years old? :(

Life on the Beach

I'm not perfect. I have a fair share of my own shortcomings too. After all, I'm just a human being and I'm still susceptible to temptations and evilness. But that's not an enough reason or excuse for me to commit sins.

I guess I'm writing this entry for reasons that I may have brought an impression to some (especially to those who barely know me or don't know me at all) that I'm already "too holy" or that I'm all good. Also, I've just experienced my first time to fall into temptation ever since I was born again. That of which I'm not really proud of and got me really distressed and thinking for the whole day. With this whole new faith and heart, I've been growing with the fear of the Lord. Not the fear that is associated with anxiousness or threat but that of reverence with Him.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can really never try to "test ourselves" by strolling by the shore and "testing" the waters. We walk by the shore thinking we are safe from the big wave and that we can run even before it engulfs us. But really, as human beings, we can never be certain when a big wave will come. It will consume us when we are caught off guard, like a big surprise. So why stroll by the shore when we can stay on the beach itself-- safe and far away from the water? On the beach where He is.

Right now, I just have to forgive myself for what I've done, learn from it and pray for more strength and wisdom. I pray that I will be stronger and be able to withstand all temptations around me. The world is full of evilness, there is no doubt about it. It lurks around, hides in the corner and pries us when we are off guard. That is why we need to draw our hearts closer to Him and away from all the evilness.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

James 4:8

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Sweetest February

I've always planned to blog again but I never seemed to find time. I actually still have a lot of school stuff to do but instead, I'm writing this entry because there's just really so much I want to share! :)

A month has passed since my last entry and yes, 2 months that we haven't been talking and a month since my regained and strengthened encounter of my faith with God.

I entitled this entry THE SWEETEST FEBRUARY for a lot of many special reasons. All my life, I have never had a Valentine and I'd always dread when this time of the year comes. Every year, I'd celebrate S.A.D (Single Awareness Day) instead and feel bitter whenever I see couples together or girls with flowers in hand.

But this year, I've decided to celebrate it and have a different perspective on it. I believe I wouldn't have reached to that decision if it weren't for how God has been changing my heart because ever since my encounter with Him and how I've chosen to surrender my life to Him, He really has been changing my heart in ways I can't even comprehend.

So this year, I've decided to ask God to be my Valentine :) And mind you, He is the sweetest Valentine I can ever have and I really wouldn't want it any other way. He gave me 3 gifts-- those 3 gifts I'm so grateful for. I prayed for light but He gave me the Sun :) I couldn't even ask for more!

1) February 9: Ate Paula (friend from Victory) and I were having our weekly one to one at a yogurt place near school. She ordered some while I didn't because it was kinda pricey and I was saving up. Haha! We were just having our usual sharings and whatnot when suddenly the owner of the shop came out from the kitchen and handed us two BIG yogurts. "It's on the house", he says with a big grin to match it with. Out of all people in the shop, why us? Ate Pau and I were dumbfounded for a second but after a while, we got kilig realizing that it was just one of God's sweet gestures. He used this man as an instrument to make our day :)

2) February 11: For the whole month of February, Victory had a special series about love. I've been enjoying the series so much but this service was extraordinary. One of the many services I can never forget. I've learned so much about this series such as waiting for the right Man patiently and how we are not to rush and settle for our standards. God has high standards and that's what we should follow in order to experience love at its fullest. I've appreciated my gift of singleness more than ever. During this particular service after the talk though, all women were asked to stand up. We had no idea what was going on. Our pastor then says "Women, always remember... You are all worth the wait."

My heart softened and tears started coming out from my eyes. It's funny how this simple statement can tear me up. It's all what I needed to hear. So simple yet so meaningful. Right then and there, I realized how God wants the best for me. He made me realize that someday... before the altar and as I exchange my vows with my husband, he will look into my eyes and say "You are my answered prayer and truly, you are worth the wait" :)

It didn't end there. As the pastor went on, men from every corner of the room started going out with white roses in hand. They started handing out to each and every woman a white rose, symbolizing purity. I was too kilig! And especially with the fact that I've never received a rose in my life. That service was unforgettable-- something I will cherish forever!

3) February 14: With the 2 gifts I have already received, I didn't really expect anything more. I mean, I was already kilig enough and was already contented with how my Valentine has turned out. But no, God had more in store for me. In school, I received a red rose from LJ Yap, another from Jet Luga (two of my good friends) and when I got home, my brother gave me a bouquet! I realized, why do I need "a certain guy as my Valentine"? when I have all these friends and God to celebrate it with?

Best Valentines, indeed. I wouldn't want it any other way! :)

"A woman has to surrender her heart to the Lord that a man has to seek Him first in order to win it." -- My love life quote.

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

I sought and I have found Him. And ever since, He's been working miracles in my life and has been blessing me with so much! But that's another story :) Probably another entry I have yet to blog about ♥