Day 6:
I finally opened my blog to the public last night for a reason I wasn't really sure of. Some of you may have seen my Tumblr post, my Facebook status or my tweet. I never intended for this to be something to be read by a lot of people. Although I thought that would be really nice too, I just initially wrote down my thoughts and learnings for my own's sake and probably for my close friends to keep updated with me. But as I've mentioned, I was really hesitant for reasons like I don't want people whom I'm not close to, know about my situation and probably be seen as someone weak and stupid for falling for someone so unworthy in the first place.
This morning though, I was so overwhelmed to have received messages from the most unexpected people who have read my blog. It was the best way to start the morning because they were letters of encouragement and reassurance. I was in tears of joy because I realized that God has finally answered my prayers by using these people as instruments to my prayed for courage and strength.
But the blessings for today didn't stop there. I was able to attend a youth service in Victory Malate for the very first time. Thank you to my good friend, Louie Yao for inviting me! The whole week, I've looked forward to this day for the service. Ever since "it ended", I've always had this empty feeling-- emptiness that was once filled up and has been drained out. And like all things, we look for what is lost. I needed to find myself again and I believe today's service has just lifted my hopes up for that search. Today's message just reassured me and somehow commended me for what I'm doing and how I'm handling things, which I truly appreciate. I guess I needed that pat on the back and be told that I'm on the right track and that I'm almost there, just a little more patience and faith.
Message was about setting your problems aside, no matter how big it is and just focus your relationship with God. For it is not the measure of our problems or number of good deeds we've done that matter but our personal relationship with Him. And with this relationship, all else will follow.
Samuel 30:6
David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.
To those who personally know me and especially to those whom I'm really close with, you would know how imperfect I am and how much bad choices and decisions I have made. I don't know why I'm saying this but I guess I just want to reiterate the fact that this "unfortunate" event has REALLY deepened my relationship with God in ways I can't even imagine and I'm telling you, it's the best feeling in the world! With this reestablished relationship, I have found strength in the Lord. Strength that I may not have gotten merely from support and love from friends and family-- strength from Him, strong enough to encourage me to pursue with life and have faith for better days!
In addition, I have met new amazing people from today's service whom I'm really looking forward to getting close with! It's just really nice to be surrounded with such loving friends and people you share the same faith with.
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